The Reith Lectures R4 are over and they weren’t so bad after all

The Reith Lectures (R4) are over and they weren’t so bad after all. Fears that the Rupert Murdoch Professor of Language would storm the mighty citadel of proper English dissolved into nothing, empty and unfounded

All the same, it looked alarming at first. Jean Aitcheson’s opening salvo against such linguistic pillars of correctness as the single negative and the un-split infinitive caused R4 listeners to rise up in agitated defence, but, by the end, she showed herself to be a cheerful, inventive custodian of our gloriously versatile language. LORD REITH can stop turning in his grave, smooth down his legendary dinner-jacket and rest in peace for another year. See Pulp now or be prepared to explain to your children in a decade or two why you passed up the opportunity to witness one of the best bands ever.Michael Bolton: Newcastle Arena (0191 401 8000), Mon; Birmingham NEC (0121 780 4133), Wed & Thurs; Manchester Arena (0161 930 8000), 19 Mar; Glasgow SECC (0141 248 9999), 20 Mar.. The other members of Pulp (yes, they do exist) seemed happy to stand back, look vaguely weird, and let him get on with it.

None of them is as flash on his or her instrument as anyone in Blur, say, but the orchestration is ingenious and the whole is greater than the complicated sum of the parts. “You sort-of kind-of sort-of-ish enjoyed Baby Bird,” he said at the end of the set, and he was right.Pulp are just about the only band whose quality of performance is in direct proportion to the dimensions of the auditorium, so we knew we were in for a fine evening at Wembley Arena at the end of their first mega- venue tour But no one could have known just how fine it would be. Jarvis Cocker is simply the most charismat- ic British pop star of the Nineties, whether chatting drolly, singing songs which are already classics, or dancing like a short-circuiting robot playing keepy-uppy with an invisible football. Unfortunately, you get more sonic variation and better production from his four-track demo tapes than from five musicians. Part of Jones’s stage persona is to act as if he doesn’t care about the songs, but the effect was lost somewhat: the crowd, waiting for the Lightning Seeds, didn’t care either. So far, they have spilled over with cracked brilliance, thrillingly silly rhymes and dreamily minimal music.Now Jones’s one-man band has hatched into a bona fide pop combo. On Thursday, they were in a north-London ballroom, supporting another group who consist of one person on record and five people live, the Lightning Seeds (the Bird-Seed Show?).

Three-fifths of the way through his programme of releasing five limited-edition CDs in under a year, he writes an album in the time it takes the Stone Roses to do a photo-session. While there are only 3,000 copies of their CDs available, each of these copies seems to have generated another column inch of press coverage, probably because each contains almost as many musical genres. They are the lo-fi, shoestring work of one man, the aforementioned Mr Jones, who combines the voice of Vic Reeves with the looks and manner of Eddie Izzard. A choir of foreigners in their colourful ethnic robes trooping on to add some gospel harmonies to “Time, Love and Tenderness” The fizzle of giant sparklers at the close of the set So, he made an effort, and his fans got their money’s worth. But I yearned for the danger and and imagination of Phil Collins.”Anyone here heard of Baby Bird?” asked Steven Jones. “One or two?” At most, was the response, but more people have heard of Baby Bird than have heard them.

The music moves up a tone, and the sudden rise in pitch brings about a concomitant rise in excitement Corny, but all well and good in its place. Bolton used this rousing gimmick no fewer than six times.Tick off the other cliches. Popping up on a tiny plat- form halfway down the arena, so that those at the back who had been watching a tiny dot for most of the show could see a slightly bigger dot for one song. What’s this? Bolton’s square-jawed face twisted in- to a callous sneer as he slings out some groupie who fell for the oldest line in the book? Nope: ” ‘Cause love could never ever be this strong.” Should have guessed.In place of soul or showmanship, Bolton wheeled on the concert standbys.