Thank you very much

Thank you very much.” It’s not clear whether he’s being serious or sarcastic.There is a star chamber that meets in secret to decide who’s in and who’s out For every newcomer, someone must die Fame’s like that. “Like Henry VIII, is it? Locked up all his wives’ heads and put them in a corner, or a cupboard. As the camera moves up his face he looks deeply offended by his fate. “Oh, thank you very much,” he says when told his head is still on the shelf. “They behead them.” “Ah, that’s not very nice,” he says, looking hurt.The camera pans across the shelves of severed heads: Nureyev next to Kruschev, Frost snuggled up to Hope, Davis Jnr whispering sweet nothings to Cilla Black, Tom Baker and Meglos the Cactus locked into a fierce staring contest, Goering and Laurence Olivier wondering what they’ve done to deserve each other, Gagarin, Ann of Bohemia .. and Boycott.

“Is that a political term or diplomatic term? What you mean is they melt them down and use them again.”"They don’t actually do that,” she tells him, slightly hesitantly. The programme was particularly cruel to Geoffrey Boycott, who was removed following his recent run-in with the French legal system.
“Do you know what happens when you’re deselected?” the interviewer asks him “Deselected?” he replies. In Modern Times: Waxworks of the Rich and Famous (BBC2, Wednesday), assorted celebs ruminated on being in with the wax crowd – and what it feels like when your time is up. If you’re one of the 400 dummies on show, you’re in the loop Beyond lies the abyss to which has-beens are consigned Or at least the head room.

THERE IS only one true barometer of fame: Madame Tussaud’s. After their first game with the Russian club Dinamo Ekaterinburg ended 4-4, they beat Croatian club HK Mara-thon 10- 3, goals coming from Mark Pearn (4), Jon Slay (3), Andrew Todd, Mark Hoskin and Scott Ashdown.. Southgate’s Australian coach Neil Hawgood will be looking for consistency and full commitment.Surbiton, the Division One leaders, will hope to consolidate their position away at Loughborough before they lose the services of their four South African internationals.nReading are in good spirits after two matches in the European Indoor Club Championship in Prague. Speaking of the play-offs, all games of which, except the final, will be played at Reading, he added: “Although I have nothing against Reading, I find the decision to play there unbelievable. It compounds everything that is wrong about the play-offs.” It is a view expressed by other potential play-off sides, both men and women, who feel that there should have been an opportunity to play for home advantage.Third-placed Southgate travel the short distance to Chigwell to face Old Loughtonians, who in last weekend’s double header had odd goal wins against East Grinstead (5-4) and Canterbury (6-5).

Gilbody has injury doubts about three of his squad – Michael Johnson, Jimmi Lewis and Kalbir Takher.
“We want to win the League and the play-offs but we are taking it one game at a time,” he said. The Cannock and Wales manager, Martin Gilbody, agrees that the game might be something of a Welsh trial, with both teams liberally sprinkled with Welsh internationals and Canterbury are handled by the Welsh national coach, David Bunyan. Although both teams appear likely to qualify for the end-of-season top four play-offs, the match is likely to be fiercely contested. CANNOCK, WHO took over the Premier leadership last weekend from Canterbury, play host to the Kent side tomorrow in the day’s top fixture. Symington and Logan were out to poor shots and England were all out before the first hour had ended.Second day of four; England Under-19 won tossENGLAND UNDER-19 First Innings(Overnight: 272 for 7)M J Symington c McGlashan b Shaw 44R J Logan c Gillespie b Shaw 4M A Wallace not out 7G Bridge b Shaw 4Extras (lb7, w7, nb18) 32Total (118.4 overs) 295Fall (cont): 8-278, 9-284.Bowling: Shaw 21.4-6-54-4; Gillespie 18-5-73-1; Franklin 17-3-35-2; McNamee 4-1-11-0; Martin 35-14-49-2; Jansen 23-6-66-1.NEW ZEALAND UNDER-19 First InningsT McIntosh c Logan b Dawson 71M Papps c Wallace b Tucker 25*J Englefield b Tucker 69B Patton lbw b Bridge 12J McNamee not out 30J Franklin not out 10Extras (b7, lb4, w2, nb4) 17Total (for 4, 85 overs) 234Fall: 1-47, 2-160.To bat: M Gillespie, B Jansen, P McGlashan, B Martin, H Shaw.Bowling: Bulbeck 13-1-38-0; Logan 14-4-33-0; Dawson 28-8-60-1; Tucker 8-1-29-2; Symington 8-1-29-0; Bridge 13-2-31-1; Gough 1-0-3-0.Umpires: K Barber and J Fenwick.. The opener Tim McIntosh and the captain Jarrod Englefield, did their best, adding 113 for the second wicket before McIntosh skied a catch to Richard Logan off Richard Dawson.Englefield, who has been out of form in this series, was dropped by Marc Symington when he was on 22 and went on to make 69 before being bowled off an inside edge by Joe Tucker.Left-arm spinner Graeme Bridge took the fourth wicket when he trapped Brad Patton leg before for 12.Earlier in the day, England’s tail had failed to wag after they resumed on 272 for 7. England Under-19 295 New Zealand Under-19 234-4

NEW ZEALAND took the honours on the second day of the third and final Under-19 Test against in Alexandra yesterday.
Replying to England’s 295 all out, New Zealand, who need to win the match to level the series, were just 61 runs behind with six wickets in hand by the close.But the Kiwis still have some way to go on a very flat pitch to get into a winning position.

“It was very good for Sachin to agree to our request to pacify the crowd,” said police chief Dinesh Vajpai.Yesterday’s disturbance revived memories of the World Cup semi-final on the same ground in 1996 when Sri Lanka eventually beat India on default after a riot ended play with the hosts on the brink of defeat.Scoreboard, Digest, page 26. Tendulkar had crashed into Shoaib Akhtar just as he was about to complete a third run and then narrowly failed to beat the substitute Nadeem Khan’s direct throw from the boundary.Television replays, called by umpire Steve Bucknor, indicated Tendulkar may have grounded the bat before he banged into Shoaib, but it was raised when the ball hit the wicket.When the third umpire K T Francis rightly declared Tendulkar out because Shoaib had not collided deliberately with the batsman, the crowd chanted “cheats, cheats” against the Pakistani fielder and threw missiles when he returned to the long-on fence.The match referee Cammie Smith called the players off the field as security men immediately ringed the outfield and ball boys cleared the debris.Smith ordered an early tea break before play resumed and Tendulkar went on a walkabout in the crowd. India, chasing 279 to win, collapsed from 134 for 1 to 214 for 6 by the close of the fourth day’s play, watched by a crowd of 95,000 at Eden Gardens.India’s hopes of pulling off a win now rest mainly with Saurav Ganguly, unbeaten on 23 and Anil Kumble (12 not out).Play was held up for 66 minutes during the afternoon session as a section of the crowd, disappointed at Tendulkar’s dismissal, threw fruit and plastic bottles on to the field. Pakistan 185 & 316 India 223 & 214-6

PAKISTAN AND India’s Asian Test Championship encounter was poised on a knife edge at the close on a tense fourth day that was marred by contentious decisions and crowd trouble.
Pakistan still need four wickets and India 65 runs as they regained composure after a near riot was triggered when the home hero, Sachin Tendulkar, was run out. “Yorick, in particular, took a real battering but he just got on with the game”.Williams and Alderson are set for their final game of the season against Sheffield Sharks at Moorways tonight, before the League takes a 10-day break to accomodate England’s European Championship fixtures against Belarus and Israel, and next Saturday’s All Star game.After that, Derby have only five games before the Uni-Ball final, so the bans against Williams and Alderson would have to be more than halved for them to play.Without their joint leading scorers, Derby will be the rank outsiders for the final against Manchester, who are the only team still challenging Sheffield for the league title.Neville Austin, of Thames Valley Tigers, has been added to the England squad for next week’s games.. The appeal will be heard on Thursday.The Storm general manager, Tony Ironmonger, said: “We are appealing against the length of the bans. A lot of factors are working against us, but we have got to fight all the harder for them.”They were a credit to the club at Leicester.” he added.