Have you noticed how many politicians lately seem unable to control what they are saying? Political analysts

Have you noticed how many politicians lately seem unable to control what they are saying? Political analysts often tell us they have made a “gaff” or are playing some sophisticated power game. But could they simply be ill?

Tourette’s Syndrome is a rare disease of which two common manifestations are shouting obscenities and making inappropriate comments. Leafing through a medical textbook, this suddenly seems ominously familiar. Is David Evans, previously seen as an obnoxious right-wing Tory, in reality a misunderstood type suffering from the syndrome?
Looking back at the news coverage this week, he might not be the only one.

What about our Secretary of State for Health, Stephen Dorrell, most recently in the news after his faux pas over the single European currency? His friends – well, John Major – may describe his remarks as a “slip” or a “mistake”, but such obscenities as the Scottish parliament or the single currency fall from his lips all too frequently for us to see them as anything but a medical condition.A doctor could see that these two politicians are not alone in their suffering. Look around the House of Commons – perhaps itself a victim of Sick Building Syndrome – and many others appear to be medically challenged as well.Are the Euro-sceptics suffering from Munchhausen’s Syndrome by Proxy – a syndrome whose sufferers inflict harm on other people to gain attention? Sound familiar? Certainly they have succeeded in damaging the credibility and unity of the Conservative Party. And everyone now knows Teresa Gorman’s name.On the opposition benches, there is an increasing danger of Paradise Syndrome – the debilitating feeling that things are going so well that they can only get worse. The polls may show that Labour has an unassailable lead, but all Austin Mitchell, MP for Grimsby, can do is gloomily mention Tony Blair in the same breath as Kim Il Sung and describe himself as a “squashed hedgehog on the road to the manifesto”.At the other extreme there is the Jerusalem Syndrome, which describes the condition affecting some visitors to Jerusalem who identify with, and temporarily believe, that they are a major figure such as St John the Baptist or the Messiah. Does this not remind you of Sir James Goldsmith, who since he moved to France has seen himself as a British Charles de Gaulle, ready to lead us out of Europe and into the Promised Land?Finally there is de Clerambault’s Syndrome – a form of delusional erotomania where a person believes that someone loves them when there is no evidence for this. Does this not exactly describe John Major’s relationship with the electorate? But there is another possibility.

He could be suffering from Option Paralysis, the inability to make a decision [such as the date of the general election] when faced with an excessive range of choices But don’t try to cure yourself, John. After months of waiting for the election, we’re all suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome anyway.. It is a fortunate trainer whose yard is home to more Cheltenham contenders than there are races at the Festival to run them in, but then Martin Pipe has never been a man to operate on anything but a grand scale. No fewer than 30 members of the champion’s string are potential challengers at next week’s meeting, and yesterday Pipe offered some helpful hints to punters wishing to finalise their investment portfolios.

Remarkably, Pipe has seven entries for the opening Supreme Novices’ Hurdle alone, but it is his two runners in the Gold Cup a week today, Cyborgo and Challenger Du Luc, which are uppermost in his thoughts. Though it is one of the few major events which has so far eluded him – and the shameful circumstances surrounding the failure of Carvill’s Hill when favourite five years ago are still painfully fresh in the memory – the trainer has long believed that Cyborgo offers his best chance of winning a Gold Cup.
“The bookmakers give my two horses no chance,” Pipe said yesterday, “but I can assure you I fancy them both to run big races. Cyborgo is only seven and whatever happens this year we’ve got a few more cracks at the race with him to come.”Challenger is very well in himself and must have a good chance. If you took out his fall behind Coome Hill in the Hennessy and his poor run at Cheltenham afterwards he’s done nothing wrong, winning the Murphy’s and a little race at Wincanton.”Pipe has clearly not consulted the bookmakers’ lists in the last few days, since Cyborgo has been backed from 25-1 down to as low as 14-1 following the news that Charlie Swan will take the ride.Other members of his team will also go to post with significant ante- post support behind them, most notably Make A Stand, the Tote Gold Trophy winner, who will be joined in the Champion Hurdle by Pridwell, who finished third to Collier Bay 12 months ago and generally runs well at Cheltenham.”Make A Stand will be ridden by Tony McCoy and is well but I don’t know if he’s going to handle the ground as they are watering and he would prefer it on the fast side,” Pipe said, “but he’s earned his place in the line- up, and Pridwell could sneak a place again.”It may be significant, though, that the trainer looked elsewhere when asked to nominate his best chance of a winner next week. “You can’t have bankers at Cheltenham as it is much too difficult,” he said, “but White Sea [Triumph Hurdle] is very good and has to be one of my best chances over the three days,” explained the trainer. White Sea appeared to receive a somewhat lacklustre ride from Swan at Newbury last month when the filly finished second to Kerawi, but the Irishman will keep his place next week.If his luck is in, meanwhile, Pipe could conceivably return home with half a dozen winners to his credit, such is the depth of his squad.