Delays were caused mostly by fears that the heat would cause steel rails to buckle

Delays were caused mostly by fears that the heat would cause steel rails to buckle.Motorists were also warned by the AA against the danger of driving in the heatwave due to melted road surfaces.Even Concorde was not immune from the effects of the heatwave. Though it is very warm here today, we have had a great breeze, so people have been able to cool down.”However, the sun brought nothing more than misery yesterday for many of the three million commuters travelling to work in London.Trains were delayed for a third successive day as the heatwave led to further speed restrictions on the rail network. Camel racing topped the bill at the annual country show in Bakewell, Derbyshire, attracting record crowds.With a backdrop of agricultural stalls and rural events, jockeys sporting Arab dress sprinted across the showground on camel-back.A spokeswoman said: “Usually we would expect around 50,000 people over two days, but we are confident we will top that The weather has definitely helped, as have the camels. Its resident otters cooled off in snow delivered by refrigerated lorry from an indoor skiing centre.One town appeared particularly well-prepared for the unexpectedly tropical weather. At the National Sea Life Centre in Birmingham, more urgent measures were required. Sweating profusely, they stood to attention in full regalia.As Britons struggled to cope with the heat, animals in zoos across the country were also attempting to acclimatise, with varying degrees of success.At London Zoo, handlers kept bears cool by feeding them iced snacks.

However, from cities to the coast, there was one common aim: to find the most effective way to cool down.In London, temperatures hit an uncomfortable 35.4C (95F) yesterday, making it the hottest day on record to date.The tourism industry was also affected, as the London Eye, one of the capital’s most popular attractions, took the unprecedented decision of closing in order to protect the “comfort of the guests”.However, the guards at Buckingham Palace failed to disappoint the tourists. From camel racing at a Derbyshire town f? to emergency deliveries of snow to over-heated otters in Birmingham, it soon became apparent yesterday that Britain was officially in the grip of a heatwave.
As record after record was broken, the nation promptly set about acclimatising itself to a heat more suited to the tropics,In cities, tourists sought relief by diving into fountains while residents and workers flocked to parks and lidos.Resorts and beaches were packed with those desperate to escape from the inner-city humidity. Tests have proved there’s no more frightening or emasculating sight than the glamour model advancing towards you quaking with the words, “Fancy a shag? Or have you got a tiny willy or something?”
More from John Walsh. But it’s recently had a makeover, been connected to sex, duplicity, warmongering, lethal weapons, lies and secrets, and now it’s dynamite.

Just hand your average criminal a Problematic Brief (as the dossiers are also known in underground circles) and watch him turn pale.Jordan No need for a stun-gun with our dream girl Simply wind her up and let her go. A dossier used to be considered a rather dull object – “a set of documents relating to a person, event or case”. Behind the high-waisted trousers and Pop Idol charm, this arbiter of musical taste is in fact a seasoned veteran of criminal encounters, using state-of-the-art sarcasm and bitchy putdowns. “Call that an Uzi?” he will sneer at a gunman, “That little pop-gun? Who told you to try being a criminal? You’re having a laugh, coming here today, aren’t you? Are you wasting my time?”Dodgy Dossier. Showing him the new-style packets, displaying images of cancerous teeth, should have him begging for mercy.Simon Cowell The Home Office’s secret weapon for years. You’ll soon be able to smoke only while standing in a meadow 40,000 hectares square, being constantly crop-sprayed with disinfectant But cigarettes can be deployed against criminals. Offering a Yardie hitman a Marlboro Light should convince him you mean business.

Now known to be more destructive than Sarin B, cyanide and anthrax all run together, cigarettes will shortly be banned in pubs, lavatories, garden sheds and people’s homes. Perhaps the most hideous single object to be seen on these shores since the Invasion of the Giant Monkfish in 1357, the comic terrorist’s jungly fake crotch was first displayed outside Windsor Castle to an audience of passers-by and suspicious policemen, several of whom required treatment for dizziness, convulsive retching and haemorrhaging guts.Cigarettes. Things that will disable, threaten or appal a dangerous villain without loss of life…Aaron Barschak’s pubic wig. So, tell you what, let’s invent a gun that fires truncheons.”Both the stun-gun and the flying baton are examples of a new police initiative, to try to find “less lethal alternatives” to conventional armaments before the streets of London and Manchester erupt in a blizzard of cordite.It would be cheeky of me to offer the police advice, but I can’t see either of their Weapons of Minimal Destruction working It’s time for some better alternatives.