An anti-fashion type pose and a world removed from the poker up the botty shots of the Fifties and supposed to

An “anti-fashion” type pose, (and a world removed from the poker up the botty shots of the Fifties), and supposed to look realistic, although actually highly contrived. Concaves the body, making the stomach and breasts appear flat.The Page 3Supposed to be sexy without showing anything – topless without the tits. By holding the hands in this position the shoulders appear skinny and almost childlike, which is a look some photographers like. There is another, more pragmatic reason for using this: if a stylist wants to use a pair of trousers or skirt and there is no suitable top.The LurchAppears with boring regularity in “intellectual” fashion magazines. It uses the body as little more than a prop to show the clothes, thus dehumanising the model.

The angular stance is also one of the easiest ways to show the highly sculptured wares of “conceptual” designers such as Shelley Fox and Junya Watanabe.The CrouchOtherwise known as the Foetus, and a good way to shoot a whole outfit without having the model standing up (which means shooting from further away, thus losing detail) This is why it’s popular for catalogue shots. The forerunner to this pose was the one with the model sitting on the floor with legs bent to one side.PHOTOGRAPHY BY MYKEL NICOLAOU/STYLED BY ZOE BROWN/HAIR AND MAKE UP BY SHARON WILLMORE USING CLINIQUE/MODELLED BY CHANTAL AT STORM. Main claim

Veteran extrovert. The DJ and TV presenter, stomach-lurchingly dubbed “Chrissy Wissy” on air, is somewhat, er, whacky, you understand.

Retired ladeez man, who once boasted sleeping with four different women in one day The virility of the man. Now the star of London’s Capital Radio finds himself, at 52, an unwilling participant in this year’s toe-sucking award, following the Sun’s publication of a 1988 photo of him exposing Sophie Rhys-Jones’ right breast. “SOPHIE TOPLESS” screamed the headline, featuring Her Nearly Highness frolicking, one side of her bikini playfully lifted by Mr T. (This being the paper that features a topless woman on a daily basis, of course.) Well, hurrah for Chrissy Wissy Have him knighted for services to human interest. Now at least we can summon a smidgen of interest in what is otherwise set to be the dullest royal wedding of the century.
AppearanceFillet of plaice Frizzled blond shark. Dennis Waterman meets Sylvester Stallone’s albino second cousin Bingo hall manager gone to seed Thin- haired John Nettles dipped in bleach.

Raddled roue of a rock star with Esher mansion and extensive wall mounted guitar collection.Rag tradeThe latest tabloid scandal occurred when one Kara Noble flogged her old holiday snaps. Our hero, a friend of bride and groom, vigorously and convincingly denies an affair, while Sophie is said to be “deeply, deeply upset”. Kara Noble, at least pounds 100,000 richer, deserves nothing but the James Hewitt treatment for her desperate little stunt. In the meantime, Sophie gains dubious interest points, and looks better in a stripy bikini than in her clunking execu-girl suit with Eighties lapels. The Palace was furious over the incident, the Sun then apologised, and Kara has now been summarily fired from her DJ job.Man o manDaily motormouthing on Capital Radio, food-chucking on Tiswas, and general charm, smarm and joshing on shows such as Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? have all contributed to our protagonist’s persona as a matey geezer. That’s another pint, Princess, and something for the lovely lady.Show-boyOn a nice little earner at an estimated pounds 3m a year, our veteran DJ is a dab hand at the subtle art of the voice over He also owns an Italian clothes firm.

Our hero lives happily with his Norwegian wife Ingrid, and has sired six mini-Tarrants in from two marriages. Happy families then, but for a tabloid fall-out last year with step-son Dexter Chrissy told him to get a job or leave home. Cue much bleating and “shock” revelations from Dex about “domineering” Tarrant Sr.Fame prospectsOf all claims to fame, exposing a future royal’s breast while larking around in the Costa del Sol is not one our hero would choose. Still, the professional jokester will ride out this little storm, and will probably be spinning discs as a blond 90-year-old Good for you, Chrissy Wissy..